The Rainy Day IS Coming.

Somehow I always hoped the rainy day would come later. Like way later, when things in my life didn't already seem so tumultuous.
I wanted like ten good years of prosperity and frivolous spending and a little of "enjoying life" before it started to rain on my parade. Looks like I'm running out of time.
I married the King of Penny Pincher's, never have I meet a person who so thoroughly lived the "save for a rainy day" philosophy. My parents taught me my whole life nothing but the art of saving money and paying for things in cash. So here's my dilemma, I have saved and scrimped and hoped and DREAMED, that one day I would be able to profit from going "without" all the neat things other people have. So can't the inevitable collapse of our economy happen after I've lived a little?
Just my luck!
In high school when most people where spending their money like it was burning holes in their pockets, I was saving everything I had to buy a car. My parents thought it best to let their children live in the real world first hand. They didn't help with the car payment they didn't buy me gas, they didn't pay my insurance. They taught us about personal responsibility and what it was like to have to take care of what you had. I'm grateful (forever grateful) for these life lessons and the responsibility's I learned right from the get-go. I paid my thirteen thousand dollar car off in 9 months while making 5.25 an hour (which by the way I'm still driving). I worked two jobs and I saved all I could. I didn't go without and every now and then I did buy new clothes and I would go out out eat, but mostly I saved for my rainy day. Then I met and fell in love with Derik, and together we paid for our wedding. There were many generous gifts given to us, my mother paid for my dress and Derik's family gave us money, but the bulk of our wedding was paid for by us.
Derik and I have saved until it has hurt (especially for me). Because we dreamed that someday we could turn around and do something good with what we have. Neither of us come from wealthy families (although either would give their shirts off their backs if we needed them) and so we have struggled along. When Dylan came Derik was a student in school while working full time at Kohlers Grocery. I quit working and became a full time Mom. My rainy day saving funds paid the rent while Derik's income paid the rest of the bills, until Derik could graduate and we could move on to bigger and better things.
Derik and I go out to dinner like once a month and even then we only spend 20 dollars. Our grocery budget is impossibly small, our kids clothing is mostly hand-me-downs or gifts from family, we both drive our old paid for cars. We don't go out because (1) it costs money and (2) then we would have to pay a babysitter, We rent, because we dream of a place of our own and we know we can't afford it without saving for it now. We listen to people hound us about how we waste our money because we rent, we listen to people put us down because somehow they know better than us how to spend and save our money. To them I'd like to say, please folks walk a mile in our shoes!
There won't be anyone there to offer us help on a down payment for our home, there won't be anyone there to say, here you can't make your mortgage we'll help you out, there won't be anyone to say, come live with us since you got in over your head. We only have one income and it's been that way for almost six years, we are doing what we feel is right and we are being responsible (which is more than I can say for most).
The only good thing about being broke because you save so much is that it leaves you plenty of time to dream. I dreamed up my own home and what it would look and feel like. I dreamed of going on vacations with Derik, I dreamed of going to dinner and paying for a sitter, I dreamed of expanding our family, because some day we could have a van and three bedrooms. But mostly I dreamed of surprising all the people who have been so generous to us as we have saved for tomorrow. I dreamed that we could some day repay all the kindness and generosity that has been shown. But these dreams all sort of hinge on financial and economical stability, and it's looking like these are things of the past.
So I'm feeling a little sad and totally anxious. What the heck is tomorrow going to bring?
Derik received an email with a talk President Packer gave a few weeks back and as I read it, I flip flopped between wanting to hysterically cry to wanting to believe this was going to be the best part of my earthly life. Here are a few things that struck me in President Packer's talk and have lead to this post. I have added all the italics and bolding for things that struck me,

Take care of what we’ve got. Begin to save. The rainy day is coming
In the Great Depression, people were frightened and growing more so. They began to be very resourceful. They had to be. Looking forward, we’re all going to learn that lesson, one way or another.
The Church is in excellent condition. You don’t need to worry about that. But as individuals we will face difficulty. It’s about time the Lord taught us a lesson. A great catastrophe is coming. Now I probably shouldn’t say that because then it will happen. But it is going to happen. That’s what it will take to turn our hearts to the Lord. And we will learn from it.
Learn to pray. There’s a difference between ‘saying prayers’ and praying. A wonderful time is coming – it’s not going to be easy, and it’s not going to be short. But don’t be afraid. Our prayers will be different, less selfish. The scripture says “If ye are prepared, ye need not fear.” Renew your prayers. You can [also] think a prayer. Carry a prayer in your heart throughout the day. Learn to pray for that which is of worth. Another scripture says “…do not spend money for that which is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy.” (2 Nephi 9:51) That can be applied both spiritually [to prayer] and physically. Use what we have. If something is broken, fix it. Our young people are going to see different times than what they are used to. To you teenagers, your life will be different. Things are changing. You will have to do without some of the things you are used to expecting. Don’t be afraid. Change your life to do without the extravagances and luxuries that you’ve expected.
Read the scriptures and the revelations. The guidance and counsel are there. Read with new eyes, and the scriptures, the Book of Mormon, will take on new meaning.
As President Bush and world leaders gather in the coming week and the weeks ahead, there will be no easy answers or solutions. Hard times are ahead and it’s difficult for them to see what to do. It’s important to listen to the Spirit. We are led by prophets and apostles. We can see ahead. We can be and are prepared.
I pronounce upon you an Apostolic blessing. Comfort our children. Little children can be afraid of things we might not think of. Comfort them and strengthen our families. Turn off the television and focus on family. Pay your tithing. The promise is there – pay your tithing and you’ll be watched over. You’ll be alright. None of us is exempt from trials. If hard times come upon you and your income dwindles, remember that tithing is equitable for everyone: 10%. If you have nothing, then it’s 10% of practically nothing. Pay your tithing, do what you’re supposed to do. You’ll be comforted.
Sure trials will come. Because of them, faith will increase. Happiness will increase. Security will increase. You’ll be glad to be alive at this time. It’s a good time to be living. To be raising children. I leave this testimony, counsel, and blessing with you in the holy name of Jesus Christ.
Amen.”

So maybe I won't get to have my dreams, I think I finally understand the Lord might be offering me something better. Being less selfish and closer to God and learning the real value of things that have eternal meaning and purpose might be just what I need to rise above my own dreams.

For anyone who is interested in the whole talk given by President Packer, it is really good, just email me and I'll send you a copy.