Thursday Thankfulness

This has been a week of deep and stirring emotions, and so it is, with a heart full of emotions that I wanted to express the things of my heart.

First and foremost I'm thankful for my Grandpa Benson

Grandpa Benson is the only "Grandpa" I have ever known, and I love him so much.
He used to call me his little song bird, because I used to sing to him when ever I could. When I look back at old family movies I cringe at just how awful I sounded as I sang to my grandpa, but he made me feel special nonetheless.
My Grandpa Benson was such a wise man. He valued his name and taught us all, that nothing should mean more than your good name. He paid for everything in cash and taught us that "that was the only way to buy things".
I'm not sure if it's because my mom was so fond of her dad and the feelings rubbed off, or that Grandpa was just a really special person, I really had a soft spot for him, which is why hearing now, that he has just passed away that my heart aches for more time.
Grandpa Benson is probably dancing right now with his sister Gladys and feeling so young and free, I'm glad for him. I'm just sorry for the rest of us who will miss him so much.
Grandpa I love you!

I'm thankful for the principles of the gospel that have come to mean so much to me. Especially now as I'm faced with losing my grandpa. Principles like, life after death and the ever comforting reassurance that families can be together forever. I found a couple of good thoughts from the Gospel Principles Manual on the subject and thought I would share them.

Heavenly Father prepared a plan for our salvation. As part of this plan, he sent us from his presence to live on earth and receive mortal bodies of flesh and blood. Eventually our mortal bodies will die, and our spirits will go to the spirit world. The spirit world is a place of waiting, working, learning, and resting from care and sorrow. Our spirits will live there until we are ready for our resurrection. Then our mortal bodies will once more unite with our spirits, and we will receive the degree of glory we have prepared for at"The Last Judgment".

In a funeral sermon, Joseph Smith declared that the spirits of righteous people who have died "are not far from us, and know and understand our thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and are often pained therewith" (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 326). Other latter-day prophets have made similar statements. President Ezra Taft Benson said: "Sometimes the veil between this life and the life beyond becomes very thin. Our loved ones who have passed on are not far from us" (in Conference Report, Apr. 1971, p. 18; or Ensign, June 1971, p. 33). President Brigham Young said: "Where is the spirit world? It is right here" (Discourses of Brigham Young, p. 376).

I'm thankful for the peace I have received. I cannot say I have ever lost anyone I was close to, until now, and I'm grateful that amongst the pain and the aching, there is joy and love.

I'm thankful for family and that I have someone to share my grief with. I'm thankful that my grandma doesn't have to be alone and that she has four wonderful children and countless grandchildren and great grandchildren who will be there for her.

I'm thankful for my mom and the strength and the positivity that she has shown and shared as she has embraced these last few days with her dad.

I'm thankful for my brother Eric, and for all the service and love he has rendered to my grandparents. I'm thankful for the shining example he has always been to me of real honest goodness. I only wish I could say I knew my grandparents as he does, that I served and honored and cherished my grandparents as he did. I hope that you know that Grandpa will still continue to guide and teach and love you, from the other side.

I'm especially thankful for the good books I have been reading and the sense of purpose I now feel. I'm glad that the last 28 chapters of my life have been full of struggles and trails and mistakes, because I like where it's leading me.

I'm thankful to my Father in Heaven for the love and patience he has shown. That even when I turned away and was bitter and confused, he stood there waiting for me. He may have not been able to reach me, because of the distance I put between us, but he always sent someone to help me find my way back. He always gives me small miracles, even when I know I certainly don't deserve them. He loves me, because I'm me and that is what he created me to be.
Too long have I felt that I was a mistake and that I would never amount to much, too long have I doubted that I was His daughter. Too long have I misunderstood my place in this world.
With His help I now know that each mistake I make need not be the end, but a beginning to a better more perfected me.
Back when I used to draw, sculpt and paint, I never wanted anyone to see my art, until it was finished. Fearing that someone would find fault in it and that I wouldn't find the courage to go on and finish the project, I hide what it was I was creating.
Now I see that although I'm not complete and perfect, Heavenly father knows the outcome, he created me after all, and he loves every stray mark and dimpled spot, because he knows what it can become. He has shown me that I need not hide because I'm imperfect, but that with a little patience and loving guidance from above, my imperfections will become a part of something remarkable.