Why I Hope My Home is Never Looked at by CSI's

Why?
Well, because they would find blood everywhere, thats why!
Dylan has always had bloody noses, but the last two days have been horrible.
Two mornings ago I awoke to find Dylan had thrown up all over his bed, but it wasn't just throw up, his bed was also covered in blood. And instead of waking me up and telling me all about it, he crawled on our couch downstairs and fell asleep vomit and blood covered. So as I walk down the stairs this is what I first encounter. Gross.... I know but his was only the beginning!
So after tearing his bed apart and throwing it in the washer I had the lucky privilege of trying to get all his blood out of our light colored fabric couches. Which really stinks cause you just can't clean one little spot on our couches, or else it leaves a water stain, so you have to clean the entire cushion. Needless to say that was an all day project. But in the end I was pretty satisfied with how clean I actually got everything.
So I'm guessing you can only imagine how stinking infuriated I was today when Dylan and I were sitting on our upstairs couch and he got another random bloody nose. I quickly sent him into the bathroom to get some tissue and I went to work on scrubbing the blood out. When I took a time out from scrubbing to check on Dylan I walked into the bathroom to discover it too was covered in blood. I'm not sure how he managed to get it everywhere, but he did! It really looked like some kind of murder scene. (I'll spare you from having to look at any pictures)
So after hours of clean up I went downstairs to rest only to discover he had bleed all over the down stairs couch again!
Does anyone know how I can glue this kids nose shut? Seriously there is only so much this mom can handle.