His Hand (3)

There have been times in my life where I've been less than grateful for things and circumstances in my life.  Usually when I have those moments or even days, I try to count my blessings or write down things I am grateful for and hope that an attitude change will follow.  I am a really blessed woman, I know I am.  But I sometimes have tunnel vision as to what those blessings are.  I see the same blessings appear over and over in my life, and I watch as some blessings I hope for never come to fruition.  But I tend to miss a lot of things in between the blessings I see and feel and the blessing I think I'm missing out on.  

I had the best Christmas of my life this past week.  There were a lot of reasons why it was special to me.  I happened to be in a good mood, which is rare for me and holidays.  My husband behaved himself around my family, and the gifts we received, were so numerous and wonderful I get dizzy with glee thinking about it.  But the greatest gift I got this past Christmas was revealed to me.  

Mr. Giovannoni and I will be facing some big challenges in the next couple of months.  Despite the uncertainty Mr. Giovannoni and I have about what we will have to do next, I have felt rather calm about the whole thing.  (Although I can say that because right now we have a job and health insurance and a roof over our heads), I just know what ever happens, that we are being guided and watched over.  

We were blessed by "Santa's Little Helpers" a couple of times this Christmas.  And if I can be frank I was horrified!  I know the road ahead of us may be a rocky one, but right now we are standing on firm ground and doing well.  To see some one give of their means to our family sent me over the edge.  I spent a lot of time crying about all the people who could really use the gifts that we were given.  I felt ashamed to think people thought we were that bad off. 

It was in this generous giving that I realized just how blind I am to ALL of the blessings that are in my life.  I realized not all blessings are prayed for, I realized that blessings come in all forms not just the ones I hope for in my heart.  Some blessings are given so that ones perspective can be sharpened.  Some blessings are given to reassure us that we are being taken care of.  Some blessings reassure us that we are not alone.  Even if they aren't blessings we are seeking!

I realized this Christmas that I am loved by a Heavenly Father who gives me what I need, so that I can learn and grow, even if it's shamefully awkward to be on the receiving end of  blessings I didn't think we needed.